


Sweet Feelings

by Scribbling_Plume17



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidental Kissing, First Crush, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Secret Crush, Slight Misunderstanding, secret feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 09:16:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13678746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribbling_Plume17/pseuds/Scribbling_Plume17
Summary: Kageyama discovers a new feeling.Hinata wonders if love is a good thing.They misunderstand each other.All is well.This story is in two parts: the first one is Kageyama's version of the story, the second one is Hinata's.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anchan_thevolleyballplayer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anchan_thevolleyballplayer/gifts).



> This is my hqvalentinesday gift for [An-chan!](https://an-chan-thevolleyballplayer.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Also, a big thank you to [Angie](http://kageyawn.tumblr.com/) for being my beta reader. You really helped me out a lot (and it was highly needed)
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy reading it!

Kageyama stood up abruptly, eyes wide. Hinata was looking at him with the same astonished expression, his brown gaze looking straight back into Kageyama's deep blue one.

“Are you alright?” Daichi asked, rushing toward them, followed by Yachi and Shimizu.

“Man, that was a hell of a fall!” Nishinoya commented.

After a quick check, Shimizu reassured everyone: the two boys were fine.

“Be careful next time,” Daichi said after a sigh of relief. “You are lucky not to be hurt,”

“Sorry,” Kageyama murmured.

Daichi shook his head and patted the young man's shoulder. “There's nothing to apologise for, you know. Just watch your steps, I don't want to withdraw you for the next match because you were too enthusiastic during training”

Though the advice was serious, his tone was light and his eyes were shining with amusement. Daichi always liked his team's passion for volleyball, and he was really proud of it. Especially since talented first years decided to join them. “I know that I can leave this team peacefully now that you are all here,” he often joked.

Kageyama nodded when the captain told him to go back to the training. Hinata still hadn't said anything, which made Tsukishima laugh.

“I bet it was his first kiss.”

Kageyama flinched and looked at Hinata. His face was red, so so red that Kageyama was afraid his partner's head was about to explode.

“It was just an accident!” Hinata finally said, almost yelled. “It doesn't count!”

“Oh it sure does,” Tsukishima teased.

“According to who?” Hinata asked, hands on his hips.

“To your bright red cheeks.”

Tsukishima smiled and walked away, victorious. Hinata was gaping, trying to find something to reply, without much success. Kageyama was still looking at him, a bit shocked. He... didn't fully realized what happened but... Was it a kiss? Could he even consider lips brushing as one?

“That wasn't a kiss!” Hinata yelled at him as if he knew what Kageyama was thinking.

“An accident cannot be considered as a kiss! It wasn't!”

“Who are you trying to convince?” Tanaka teased, amused by the situation.

“I'm almost sorry for the King,” Tsukishima sniggered.

“Shush, quiet, save your energy for training,” Sugawara said, silencing them. “Hinata, you’re right, that wasn't a kiss.”

“Aha, I knew it!”

Suga gave a look at Kageyama. The younger setter brushed it off with a shrug and decided it was better to concentrate on working on his toss.

But deep inside him, he was disappointed by Suga's statement.

°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

It took only a few days for the incident to be forgotten, much to Kageyama’s relief. Even though Tsukishima snickered at him without any reason, nobody brought up the subject. Nothing changed, everything went back to normal.

Well, almost. Because Hinata seemed to be a bit distant. It was just a feeling, but Kageyama had always been around Hinata since the beginning of the school year, and never once had Hinata averted his eyes or tried to run away from a conversation. But now he was, and Kageyama was the only one being a victim of it, which was a bit annoying. Was Hinata angry because of the accidental kiss?

The kiss… Kageyama couldn’t help but replay the memory again and again. Hinata suddenly appearing right in front of him, eyes set on the ball coming down, his arms ready to receive it. His posture had been perfect, he could have made a flawless receive. But Kageyama had been ready too, and even if he had seen Hinata, he couldn’t have stopped his own momentum and avoided the impact. He had tried to slow down to limit the force of the collision. Hinata had shrieked, Kageyama had hissed, bracing himself, and they had fallen together under the panicked looks of their teammates.

But the thing Kageyama could remember the most was the closeness of his body with Hinata’s. He had felt the warm of his partner’s skin against his, his breath in his neck and his hands on his torso… and the softness of his lips collapsing onto his own.

Kageyama brought his hands to his lips, brushing them absentmindedly. He didn’t know what to do with this memory, with the feelings attached to it. He didn’t even know how he felt about this, even less why he felt disappointed when he heard Suga saying “that wasn’t a kiss”.

Because it had been a kiss, Kageyama was sure about it. He didn’t know much about those kind of things, but he wasn’t totally clueless, let alone dumb. At least, not as dumb as Hinata.

But that was another story.

So why had Suga said that? Why had he lied? Was it because he wanted to get back to the training quickly? No, of course not, Suga wasn’t like that. There was a reason Kageyama couldn’t understand yet.

“So what could it be?” he murmured.

“That’s exactly what I want to know, Kageyama-san.”

Several laughers made Kageyama snap back to reality, to see his English teacher glaring at him, her work book like a roll in her hand.

“I’ve been calling you for five minutes, Kageyama-san,” the teacher scowled. “And you’ve been ignoring me all this time. Care to explain?”

“I was… thinking…” Kageyama replied.

“About the answer I want you to give?”

“No.”

“You’d better. Your marks don’t allow you to slack off. Now concentrate. Back to English. So, can someone tell me…”

Kageyama tried to bring his attention back to the lesson. His teacher was right, he couldn’t not pay attention, his marks were far from good, and he needed to have good results on his next exam or else…

_I won’t be able to play with Hinata for a long time._

Kageyama frowned at his own thought and scratched the back of his head. Hinata was a bit too present in his mind these last days.

°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

They were going back home after an intensive match against Nekoma. Kageyama really liked playing against that team: the nerve-wracking smile of Kuroo and his confidence, the passive attitude of Kenma melting into a passionate one as the match was growing more and more fierce, the talented libero (Yaku, if Kageyama remembered correctly) who often set them on the edge with his impressive receives… Nekoma had offered Karasuno a brilliant practice match, and Kageyama couldn’t help but wonder when they could play together again.

“We’ll beat them next time,” Hinata mumbled. “Definitely.”

Kageyama nodded, agreeing. They fell short and, as exciting as this match was, the young setter was a bit disappointed in his own performance. He could’ve done better, he knew it. If the match had been against Aoba Josai, they wouldn’t have stood a single chance to win.

“Let’s practice when we’re back!” Hinata asked excitedly.

“You have to rest,” Suga reminded him.

“Just a lil’ bit!”

“No,” Ukai denied. “Tonight you’ll eat a lot and get a good night rest. Every other option is rejected.”

“Will there be meat?” Kageyama asked expectantly.

“Of course,” said Ukai with a smirk. “What’s a good evening without booze and meat?”

“They’re still underage, Ukai-san!” protested Takeda.

“Booze will be for us.”

“Oh.”

Kageyama put his head against the window, enjoying its freshness on his hot skin. Eyes closed, he let himself be lulled by the rumbling of the bus’ engine, already dreaming about all the meat he’d eat later on. That was the best way to end an intensive day.

Surprisingly, Hinata stayed quiet next to him. He didn’t participate at any conversation like usual. Kageyama opened a curious eye to see his partner sitting straight, focusing on the road. His cheeks were bright red, and Kageyama was sure it was because of his excitement. He had long learnt that Hinata wasn’t the kind to calm down easily, especially after such a good day. He always had to comment on everything that happened, talking as fast as his brain permitted him, and beaming at anyone who was ready to listen to him (most of the time it was Nishinoya or Tanaka, the only ones who were lively enough to participate at the conversation). Fatigue would take him away eventually, and if Hinata dozed off during dinner (which was likely to happen), maybe Kageyama could thieve some of his meat as a revenge for all the times Hinata stole a mouthful of his meat buns. Happy with this perspective, Kageyama nodded off, all of his body relaxing.

°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

The days following the practice match were strange, to say the least.

On Monday, the English teacher gave them back their essay from their last test, and Kageyama braced himself to have another awful mark and a remark from his teacher. However, when she handed the paper to him, he was surprised to see her smile. The surprise quickly faded to pure astonishment when Kageyama discovered a very good mark written in red ink in the right corner of his essay. 65/100.

Kageyama gaped at the number, not daring to believe it. He checked his name, his answers and almost asked one of his classmates to compare their answers to make sure the teacher didn’t make any mistake. This mark was almost a miracle considering Kageyama had barely listened in class the past month, too busy to dream about volleyball and strawberry milk. Tsukishima will be impressed, Kageyama was sure of it. But first of all, he had to talk about it with Hinata. Kageyama couldn’t wait to see his reaction.

During lunch break, however, Hinata was nowhere to be seen. Even his classmates didn’t know where he went, which was strange.

“He looked odd this morning,” commented one of them. “Like…not as lively as usual.”

Now Kageyama was worried. Did Hinata have a stomach-ache again? Did he eat too much of kare raisu? Hinata couldn’t stop speaking about it when his mother told him she was cooking some, to the point Kageyama had to turn off his phone to stop seeing his screen light up every damn minute. Fuck, if this idiot had an indigestion, he sure as hell was going to hear about it.

Luckily, Kageyama found Hinata before the end of lunch break. His eyes were hidden behind his red fringe, but his mouth was a thin and hard line. Suga seemed embarrassed and was talking, but suddenly stopped as Kageyama came closer to them.

“Is everything alright?” he asked.

“Well…” Suga began, only to be cut off by Hinata’s voice—“Yup! Everything is perfect! Thanks Suga-san, I’ll think about it.”

“Think about what?” Kageyama asked.

“Just something,” vaguely answered Hinata.

“Which is?”

“Aren’t you a bit too curious, Kageyama?”

Kageyama stopped talking, afraid that Hinata was irritated by his questions. He didn’t spare a glance to Kageyama before going back to class. Kageyama just watched him go away, not knowing what to say or what to do. But he now knew that whatever problem Hinata had, Kageyama was related to it. Hinata never missed talking about volleyball with him, or to come to his class to ask him if they could train outside “just for a little bit”. But Hinata hadn’t done it for a week now, and his mails were just like his conversations during training: short and distant.

On Wednesday, they had lunch together. Kageyama was really pleased about it: he had eaten alone those last two days, not daring to ask his classmate if he could have lunch with them. And Hinata always came to look for him during breaks anyway, so Kageyama didn’t really have to consider having fun with others than him.

Hinata was talking a lot more today: about his best friend from middle school who he had visited this weekend. They had so much fun playing video games. Hinata had wanted to play volleyball, but the dog always running after the ball had made it difficult. Then, Hinata talked about food, saying he craved meat and wondering when they could eat some together with the team. Kageyama almost drooled on his lunch thinking about the last time they ate meat: he could remember the juices, the salty taste and the tenderness of the meat. His onigiris were so bland compared to this.

“And then it went like _whoosh_ and made a huge blow, like _baaam_ and _fssh_ and…”

Hinata was summarising the last Naruto episode he watched with the backing of excited gestures and movements. Kageyama had to dodge one of them to avoid a huge hit behind the head. Sometimes, their arms brushed, which made Kageyama shiver. But it was a good shivering. The kind one couldn’t help but want to feel again and again. Hinata’s smile was wide, but despite his good mood, something didn’t feel right. It took a long moment for Kageyama to realise that Hinata hadn’t looked at him a single time since he came to pick Kageyama up. And his big brown eyes weren’t smiling like his lips. His lips were pink, midway to thin and full. Were they as soft as last time? Were they warm as Kageyama remembered? How would Hinata react if-

“Kageyama?”

Kageyama snapped out of his thoughts, facing Hinata’s concerned expression.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“What were you thinking about?” Hinata asked, Kageyama’s question.

Kageyama felt his cheeks and ears growing hot and cursed inwardly his thoughts. He had to find something to say quickly or else Hinata will suspect something. Maybe he could talk about volleyball? Yes, it was the best he could do, and it would be a convincing excuse, enough at least to explain why he was so lost in thoughts. Hinata won’t doubt him because he was the same.

“Don’t even think about lying to me,” warned Hinata, his tone cold and distant.

“I wasn’t-” Kageyama began.

“You definitely were.”

They stared at each other. Kageyama was the first to avert his gaze. “I don’t want to tell you.”

He didn’t see Hinata’s disappointment but felt it when he said a simple “Okay” with a little voice. Kageyama almost felt bad but he couldn’t confess Hinata that he had been thinking about… about…

“I have to go,” Kageyama said abruptly. He stood up, cheeks burning, and left as fast as possible, ignoring Hinata who was calling his name.

°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

_Aaaah… Maybe Tsukishima is right… Maybe I am an idiot after all…_

Face in his hand, Kageyama let out a loud sigh.

“Is everything alright?”

Kageyama lifted his head to see Suga staring at him with concern. His senpai sat next to him when he shook his head, letting out another sigh.

“Something’s wrong with me,” confessed Kageyama. “I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Kageyama hesitated. Was it a good idea? Wouldn’t Suga think he was weird? And why was Kageyama so afraid to talk about it anyway? Why everything was so difficult those last days?

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine,” said Suga with a little laugh. “it’s just that… It seems that you have a lot on your plate.”

“It isn’t entirely wrong,” whispered Kageyama, his voice muffled by his hand covering his mouth and chin. “I… may have done something bad and… rather than feeling guilty about it, I just… I’m just curious to know what would happen if I wanted to do it again… I mean… um…”

It was so difficult to word everything he was feeling it was frustrating. Kageyama had never been good with communication, he knew it, and struggling with words right now was a bitter reminder.

“Is this something you’re talking about in relation with what happened between you and Hinata during one of the training?” asked Suga. “The accidental kiss?” he clarified.

Kageyama nodded and then frowned. “You’re calling it a kiss.”

“Well, it was one.”

“But back then you said it wasn’t.”

“Kageyama, Hinata was beginning to freak out. It was to calm him down. Now that I think about it, it wasn’t the best way and I apologise for that but… he was clearly shaken, you know.”

Suga’s words just confirmed what Kageyama had suspected a few days ago: his senpai lied for a reason, and a good one. Kageyama couldn’t imagine what would have happened if Suga didn’t say that.

“And I told the others not to talk about it either,” added Suga. “Because Tanaka and Nishinoya would have teased you both about it and things would have been worse.”

“Thank you,” Kageyama replied, so grateful to have such a reliable teammate. Suga offered him a bright smile and patted his back.

“So… You want to kiss Hinata again, huh?”

Kageyama felt all the words and emotions he was trying to grasp disappear suddenly to be replaced by a deep embarrassment at Suga’s statement. It wasn’t a teasing nor a question, just a simple statement which made Kageyama’s cheeks and ears burn almost painfully. He didn’t know what kind of expression he was making, but Suga laughed a little and patted his back once again. Kageyama hid his face in his hands, trying to understand why his heart was beating so fast.

“I-It’s just… No, of course not… I-I don’t…” he stuttered. He was at loss for words. It’s not that he _wanted_ to kiss Hinata one more time but… He couldn’t forget the feeling of their lips brushing, touching, the warmth of Hinata’s body against his own and… and his hand on his torso… His big brown eyes staring wide at him…

“Maybe,” Kageyama finally confessed, the word slipping naturally from his lips. “Every time I see him I just… I didn’t feel wrong or gross, you know?”

“I can imagine.”

Kageyama gawked when he heard that and turned to Suga so sharply his neck cracked a bit. Noticing the hasty movement and Kageyama staring at him, Suga gave him a panicked look and moved backwards. “No, that’s not what I meant at all!” he exclaimed, shaking vigorously his head. “Don’t misunderstand, oh my God! What I wanted to say is that I can relate!”

Relief spread into Kageyama’s mind. There’s no way he could have won against Suga...

“Urgh…” Kageyama grunted. “What is wrong with me…”

“It’s called a crush, Kageyama.”

“I don’t want to crush him, though.”

“Stupid, it means that you like him.”

“Who?”

“Hinata, who else?”

Kageyama considered this a moment. He liked Hinata? Well, of course he liked him, they were teammates, always trying to get better together, their volleyball was complementary and they trusted each other. But Kageyama also liked Daichi and Tanaka and Asahi and… well, he was trying to appreciate Tsukishima, which was a hell lot of work. As if he could read his mind,

Suga sighed. “You don’t like him like a friend, but like a lover,” he explained.

“Lover, as in love?”

“Sometimes I really wonder if you are Japanese,” chuckled Suga. “Of course, dummy. Do you want to kiss Tsukishima?”

“Ew, no, no way,” protested Kageyama. The sole thought of it made him cringe.

“Wrong example,” agreed Suga. “Imagine you kissing Tanaka or even Shimizu. Do you think you would want it?”

Kageyama tried hard to imagine, and it wasn’t easy when Suga was gauging his reaction, even less easy when Tanaka or Shimizu had Hinata’s traits.

“So…” Kageyama hesitated. He felt that if he said what he was thinking out loud he couldn’t take it back. If he said it, it would be concrete. He wouldn’t be able to ignore it and it was frightening, way more than losing against Oikawa-senpai or facing Iwaizumi-senpai’s wrath.

But at the same time, it was…thrilling, exciting and addictive. It felt right and strong, peaceful and turbulent, exactly like a match with a fierce opponent. _But who is the opponent exactly?_ Kageyama thought. Himself or Hinata? Maybe both. Maybe something else.

“What a strange feeling,” commented Kageyama, still not sure if he understood everything. Suga agreed with a grin. “Indeed it is.”

“How do I erase it?” Suga’s smile faded at the question. He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“This feeling, how do I erase it?” insisted Kageyama. “What can I do to eliminate it?”

“Eliminate?” repeated Suga. “Kageyama, you can’t _eliminate_ it. It’s a part of you now, you have to accept it.”

“Why? Hinata doesn’t feel the same way, he’s certainly grossed out by the kiss and if I tell him that I…” Kageyama took a deep breath. “That I like him, he will run away and stop playing volleyball with me. So there’s no need for me to keep these feelings, right?”

Suga closed his eyes, like he was confronted with a problem way too big for him. Then he faced Kageyama with an expression the younger setter knew all too well: it was like the calm before the storm.

“Kageyama, I’m sorry but you can’t erase those kind of feelings. You can suppress them but they will come back eventually, sooner or later. Of course they can fade away, but it takes time, you know? It is not something you just… _eliminate_. It is a part of you, a new one, and it’s scary, but it’ll always be, and you can’t just ignore this.” There was a silence before Suga added, “And what makes you think that it’s one-sided?”

“Well… he doesn’t speak much with me and… He’s a bit distant? He used to look at me in the eyes and now he always averts his gaze.”

Suga smiled when he heard that. “I’m not an expert, but I think it would be best if you two talked about it. Don’t tell anything about how you feel if you don’t want to, but at least… talk to him. Don’t stay with your doubts.”

Kageyama nodded, taking in another deep breath. “Okay.”

°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

_We have to talk. Can we meet tomorrow afternoon after classes at the schoolyard?  
_ **Kageyama**

_If it’s about the fact that my serve went right into your head, I’m sorry, I’m reflecting on it!  
_ **Hinata**

_It’s not about the serve, though I will surely mention it.  
_ **Kageyama**

_Will you hit me? Because I won’t come if you’re planning to. And don’t say you won’t only to make me agree to come!_  
**Hinata**

_I won’t hit you, I didn’t even think about it, dumbass.  
_ **Kageyama**

_Okay then._  
Can I bring a bodyguard, just in case?  
**Hinata**

_No.  
_ **Kageyama**

_So you really want to hit me!  
_ **Hinata**

_Stop talking shit and go to sleep, it’s late.  
_ **Kageyama**

_You began this conversation.  
_ **Hinata**

_And I regret it._  
Good night.  
**Kageyama**

°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Kageyama was so nervous he couldn’t concentrate on class. He stayed up all night to try to find the right words, the right way to talk things through. A real challenge considering he wasn’t good at conveying his feelings without hurting the others’. But he wanted to do things right, he wanted to understand Hinata, he wanted to see him smile at him like before. Kageyama missed their argument during practice, he missed hearing Hinata talking non-stop on the way back home… He missed Hinata.

So when the bell rang, Kageyama just rushed out of the classroom under the dumbfounded gazes of his classmates. On his way, a teacher reminded him not to run in the corridors, and it was really hard for Kageyama to obey.

Like Kageyama, Hinata’s class just finished. He shrieked when Kageyama grabbed him by the wrist and forced him to follow outside. Kageyama was focused. His heart was beating fast, just like before a match. He concentrated on his courage, afraid that it would run away if he looked away. Behind him, Hinata was babbling he was sorry for whatever he had done. Kageyama could feel his pulse and wondered if his heart was beating as strongly as Hinata’s.

“I’m sorry,” Kageyama exclaimed once they arrived in the schoolyard, hidden by the trees and the bushes.

Hinata suddenly went quiet and tilted his head. “I’m sorry I have done something which upset you,” Kageyama clarified.

“Have you?” asked Hinata, clearly not understanding why Kageyama was apologising.

“Well… yes. I mean, since the day of the kiss, you’ve been awkward whenever you’re around me. So… I-I’m sorry for that. I didn’t want this to happen, nor did I want to gross you out and… I’m sorry.” Kageyama bowed, his fists clenched. Hinata didn’t say anything, awfully quiet. Kageyama risked a glance and stood up straight when he saw Hinata’s deep blush.

“…ssed out” Hinata mumbled, so low Kageyama didn’t hear him correctly. “I’m not grossed out!” he almost yelled. “And I’m not avoiding you!”

“So why…” began Kageyama, only to be cut off by Hinata. “I thought you were angry!”

Kageyama frowned. Angry? “Why would I be?” he asked.

“Because of the kiss! I thought that you were furious and I didn’t know what to do and… You weren’t?”

“Of course I wasn’t angry, dumbass!”

“You were looking at me like you were ready to kill me, I swear!”

“I wasn’t!”

“Liar! No one ever stares so furiously at someone without thinking about doing something bad to them!”

“Damn right you are,” grunted Kageyama.

“See?” exclaimed Hinata triumphantly.

“I was thinking about kissing you, you dumbass!”

Hinata stared at him, dumbstruck. His lips were parted, like he was about to say something but the astonishment shining in his brown eyes told Kageyama that Hinata was at loss for words. Suddenly embarrassed, Kageyama hid his face in his hands, feeling the hotness of his cheeks. It wasn’t supposed to be like that! It… Why did he say it? He let the words slipped out and now… _now_ Hinata was surely wearing a disgusted expression, ready to go away and…

“Kageyama,” Hinata’s voice was so close. “Kageyama, look at me.”

Kageyama obliged, looking through his fingers, heart about to explode. Hinata looked back straight at him like he always did. His face was red, as red as the day the accidentally kissed, but his eyes were now gleaming with… Kageyama wasn’t sure he could read Hinata’s emotions right, but it looked like hope, or relief maybe?

“What you said…” Hinata hesitated a moment, frowning. “About kissing me…”

He took one step closer and now, Kageyama could see many things he couldn’t before. The light freckles on Hinata cheekbones, how the brown of his eyes could shine in golden colours when the light touched them… And his smell, oh his smell… Hinata didn’t smell like old books or sweat, he didn’t smell like an old classroom full of students he just smelled like… Kageyama couldn’t name it, but it was definitely a nice smell.

Hinata reached for him, his right hand moving Kageyama’s palms apart from his face, his left hand at the back of Kageyama’s neck, and gave him a timid kiss. Kageyama shuddered, inhaled sharply at the brief contact. At the second kiss, he just closed his eyes, losing himself in the sensation of Hinata’s lips on his. It was warm and clumsy because Kageyama didn’t know what to do with his body, so he put his hands on Hinata’s shoulders, then on his sides to finally settle them on his hips. They weren’t in sync like their first time playing volleyball, they were only discovering. And it felt good, Kageyama thought. Good and natural and _right_.

Their lips parted and Kageyama opened his eyes. Hinata was smiling at him.

“I think there are many things we have to talk about,” he grinned.

“I think so too,” Kageyama replied before leaning to kiss Hinata again and again.

And again.

°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

“Dumbass! If you don’t focus I’ll kiss you!”

“How is that supposed to help me concentrate, Bakageyama!”

“Are they really alright?” asked Asahi worriedly.

“They’re in top form,” assured Suga with a laugh.

“They’re shameless,” Tsukishima said with a face.

“What is happening between them?” Yachi required, torn between being worried like Asahi and amused like Suga.

“Hinata demanded that Kageyama hides his, I quote, ‘fine ass because it’s distracting’. Not knowing how to reply, Kageyama suggested to kiss Hinata,” explained Nishinoya through his giggling. Tanaka had left the gymnasium because he was laughing too much.

“COME RIGHT HERE!”

Kageyama was now running after Hinata, face bright red, and Hinata called for help. His teammates ignored him, too busy on deciding who will win. The calm only came back when Daichi came out from the changing room, yelling to everyone to go back to practice.

 


	2. First love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second part of the story. What's going on in Hinata's head?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my hqvalentinesday gift for [An-chan!](https://an-chan-thevolleyballplayer.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Also, a big thank you to [Angie](http://kageyawn.tumblr.com/) for being my beta reader. You really helped me out a lot (and it was highly needed)
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy reading it!

Hinata couldn’t avoid the fall even if he wanted to. He could only feel his own panic when he saw Kageyama turn his head in his direction, his deep blue eyes growing wide as he saw Hinata coming from nowhere.

And then, the impact. It was harsh and painful, but also the warmth of Kageyama’s body, of his hot hand placed of the small of Hinata’s back. Hinata stayed still for a good thirty seconds, heart furiously beating, and then raised his head, ready to apologise and to be smacked behind the head. But when they made eye contact, Hinata’s breath hitched despite him.

_So close_ , he thought.

Conscious of this proximity, Hinata tried to get up and put his weight on his hands only to feel them slip because of his sweat. Horrified, Hinata felt himself collapsing and gasped a loud “Woah!” before falling on Kageyama again. His face hit Kageyama’s and… their lips _touched_.

_Oh my god_ , thought Hinata. And then _so dry_. Their bodies separated and Kageyama suddenly stood up, looking at Hinata with wide opened eyes. Hinata didn’t really know what to think of Kageyama’s expression right now, but the only word which came to his mind to best describe it was _shock_.

“Are you alright?”

Daichi’s worried voice broke the hold of their gazes. Hinata couldn’t answer. The only thing he could think of was Kageyama’s lips, their dryness and their hotness, the smell of his sweat which had been so, _so_ close. It was the worst thing ever. Why did this have to happen? Why? Even though he was trying his best to keep his feelings bottled up!

“I bet it was his first kiss,” Tsukkishima snickered.

Hinata felt his embarrassment rushing to his face and ears. Kageyama looked at him and seemed to be about to say something.

“It was an accident!” Hinata said, his voice too high-pitched to be natural even to his own ears. “It doesn’t count!”

“Oh, sure it does,” Tsukkishima sneered.

“According to who?” Hinata asked, determined to make him shut up. He put a hand on his hips, a weak attempt to look confident when he was shivering so much.

“To your bright red cheeks.”

_I sooo don’t like him!_ Hinata thought angrily, but he couldn’t even argue against that. He knew his cheeks were beet red because they were _burning_. Kageyama was staring, which made Hinata conscious of it even more.

“That wasn’t a kiss! An accident cannot be considered as a kiss! It wasn’t!”

“Who are you trying to convince?” Tanaka asked with a devilish grin. Hinata knew that his senpai wasn’t laughing at him but his question wasn’t helping, quite the contrary.

“I’m almost sorry for the King,” Tsukkishima said.

“Shush, quiet, save your energy for training,” Suga-senpai silenced everyone and Hinata was so _so_ glad he stepped in. “Hinata,” Suga was looking at him. “You’re right, that wasn’t a kiss.”

Hinata was so relieved to hear him say this he exclaimed “Aha, I knew it!” before going back to practice hastily, sticking his tongue out at Tsukkishima.

(o_ _)ﾉ彡☆

He couldn’t sleep. His body was tired but his mind was full of words, of thoughts, of little useless things keeping Hinata wide awake. He was thinking about his Maths test he had failed spectacularly (again), and then about flying in the sky, and then about K…

Hinata put his blankets over his head and grumbled. Just thinking about what happened during practice was making him weak in the knees. Hinata didn’t know when exactly he fell in love with Kageyama, and it didn’t really matter to him. After all, knowing that wasn’t really important because the feelings were there, strong as a storm and taking him aback like Natsu asking him simple but difficult questions. He just realised they were present when he became aware of his gaze following Kageyama every time they were together. Hinata seemed to always find Kageyama, no matter how crowded the cafeteria or the corridors were. What makes Hinata understood his feelings was also the pang of jealousy he felt when the girls of his class were talking about Kageyama’s gorgeous blue eyes, his height, his muscles Hinata remembered feeling really bad at that moment, because he knew what the girls found Kageyama attractive, and the words they were saying were like a perfect reflection of Hinata’s mind.

Later that day, when Kageyama had grabbed Hinata’s arm to prevent him from falling miserably on his ass, Hinata had felt like his skin had been burning hot where Kageyama had touched him. The worst of it all had been that Hinata wanted more. The pure joy with a hint of embarrassment, the desire, the expectations of another touch… Every single emotion had been like a wave, a wave which had tried to drown Hinata.

He had resisted. At first, Hinata had resisted because he had been afraid of those strong feelings. And he hadn’t wanted them to change anything between him and Kageyama. First, because Kageyama’s head was full of volleyball only (and onigiris and strawberry milk). Second… Well…

_That’s obvious_ , Hinata had thought, looking at his flat torso.

So he had resisted and bottled everything up which had been the hardest thing he had to do. He had managed it so far but today… _Today…_

Today, after this kiss, this accidental kiss, his feelings had decided it was high time to be taken care of.

Hinata kicked his blankets and grumbled once again, louder this time, and rolled to his side. He didn’t want to hope, because hope was his worst enemy. He didn’t want to expect something, didn’t want to think about Kageyama’s dry but hot lips on his own, didn’t…

_Shit, I’m thinking about it._ Hinata was exasperated.

“GRAAAAH! I’m such a-“

“Onii-chan, I’m trying to sleep!” yelled Natsu from the other side of the wall.

(o_ _)ﾉ彡☆

After an intensive practice match against Nekoma, Karasuno’s team was on the way back home in a small bus. On the back of the vehicle, Hinata was sitting straight, his tired muscles protesting, begging him to relax for God’s sake. Unfortunately for them, that wasn’t something Hinata felt capable of doing right now. Kageyama was half asleep beside him, his head against the window. He looked so peaceful, so calm… It was a different calm from the match or the training. When he was playing, Kageyama’s calm was oppressive, frightening for his opponents, but impressive and soothing for his teammates. Hinata couldn’t help but admire him and be jealous of this level of trust in his own capabilities because he was all too aware of his own attitude on the court. He was clumsy and was playing more with his instincts than anything else. That wasn’t a bad thing, but Hinata knew it wasn’t enough, especially after their defeat today.

Hinata would have enough time to reflect on this later because now he was in a dangerous position. Kageyama’s shoulder was touching his and Hinata was internally screaming. He didn’t hate this proximity _at all_ but it was bad for his heart. It was so fast and so loud Hinata was sure everyone in the bus could hear it. So Hinata was sitting straight to avoid the contact. Which wasn’t really effective. But oh well, it was better than noth-

The sudden turn took Hinata by surprise, but not as much as Kageyama’s body now leaning on him. Hinata clenched his fist, trying to refrain his happiness and the rush of heat running under his skin. Sitting straight was useless now. Hinata seriously considered pushing Kageyama away, but it would be taking the risk to wake him up and Hinata wasn’t ready _at all_ to face his anger. On the other side, Hinata didn’t know if his heart could take it any longer.

Kageyama’s head on his shoulder, Hinata resisted the urge to ruffle his hair or to bury his nose in it. It smelled like soap. It was a strong but fresh smell and Hinata knew he would dream about it. He let out a sigh, giving up for now, and decided to enjoy this closeness, Kageyama’s smell, his warmth, and his arm against Hinata’s. His right hand was almost on Hinata’s left one.

_I’m so screwed_ , Hinata thought with a nervous smile.

(o_ _)ﾉ彡☆

The following days, Hinata decided it was high time to work on his feelings. He couldn’t go on like this, not when Kageyama was haunting his dreams since the bus episode.

Except Hinata didn’t really know how to work on it. It was clear evidence that suppressing his feelings hadn’t been the smartest idea of the year since they came back like a boomerang violently thrown at his face. Behaving like nothing happened was also difficult because something _did_ happen. Playing friends was almost impossible because all Hinata could think about was Kageyama’s lips, Kageyama’s hands on his body, Kageyama, Kageyama…

“Hinata, we’re going to eat!” one of his classmates told him with a big smile.

“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” another one joked.

Hinata straightened up with a sigh. He wasn’t hungry. Not for onigiris at least. Argh, enough was enough!

“I’m going for a walk,” Hinata said and then stood up under the surprised looks of his friends. He went out of his classroom and wandered in the corridors, deep in his thoughts. He was fighting a lost cause. He didn’t know how to let it go, he didn’t even know the _steps_ of letting it go because he never had to! He had always fought hard. Always. But there had been hope. Was there hope to have now?

“You’re far from your classroom, Hinata.”

Hinata lifted his head and saw Suga. His gaze was soft, like his smile. A smile which faded quickly.

“Something happened?” Suga asked.

“Too many things happened,” Hinata replied.

“Does it have something to do with Kageyama?”

Hinata was startled by the question and evaded Suga’s gaze, afraid that his senpai could read him like an open book. He definitely didn’t want anyone to know about his feelings toward Kageyama. He didn’t want to be seen as a weirdo or be told this relation was impossible because Hinata _knew_ that already, it would just hurt more to hear it out loud.

“Hinata, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but-“

“I know. I know, okay?”

Suga looked at him, surely a bit taken aback by Hinata’s harsh tone.

“I like Daichi.”

Hinata stood gaping at that confession. Suga looked away, his cheeks pinks, and laugh a little.

“What I mean is… I don’t judge you, okay?” Suga said. “I think that feelings are feelings, and you shouldn’t be ashamed to have them. Sometimes you don’t want them, but you have no choice but to accept and embrace them. Rejecting that part of you will only make you suffer.”

It was a bit complicated to understand for Hinata but at the same time, Suga’s word were resonating in him, as if a little part of his mind knew what it was about.

“So… you’re saying that I should just accept my feelings for Kageyama? Even though nothing is possible?”

“How can you be so sure nothing is possible?” Suga asked.

“Because! Can you imagine him thinking about this kind of thing? About… about love?”

_Aaah, so embarrassing_. Saying this word out loud made him so self-conscious…

“Is everything alright?”

Hinata tensed. He could identify this voice everywhere, every time. This tone running deep, resonating in his ears and heart. Hinata felt Kageyama’s presence close behind him and didn’t turn to look at him. His cheeks were way too hot not to be seen.

“Well…” Suga began, and Hinata panicked, afraid that his senpai would tell something unnecessary.

“Yup!” Hinata answered hastily. “Everything is perfect! Thanks Suga-san, I’ll think about it.”

“Think about what?” Kageyama asked as they began walking away.

“Just something.” Hinata didn’t want to talk about it, no, nope, never, there’s no way he would.

“Which is?” Kageyama insisted.

“Aren’t you a bit curious, Kageyama?” Hinata retorted. Why was he insisting? Why did he want to know? Kageyama never gave a damn before, so why now?

Silence fell and Hinata did his best not to look at Kageyama. He could very well imagine his eyes, his frown, his confusion. Hinata never refused to answer, too happy that someone could be interested in his thoughts.

Their way separated without another word being shared.

(o_ _)ﾉ彡☆

Did Daichi know about Suga’s feelings? Hinata couldn’t help but wonder and think about his senpai’s words. Had Suga tried to suppress his feelings just like Hinata? Had he thought about playing friends? Or was he simply waiting for his moment? Either way, Suga knew what he was talking about and he wanted to prevent Hinata from doing the same mistake as him, Hinata was sure of it. Suga’s words tasted too much like truth to be ignored.

So Hinata decided to accept all of his feelings and to confront them properly. He couldn’t avoid Kageyama forever, that was impossible. That’s why he invited Kageyama for lunch. Kageyama seemed delighted by this perspective and followed Hinata quietly, listening to his ramblings.

_It isn’t so difficult_ , Hinata thought while he made a recap of his weekend. Difficult it wasn’t, indeed, but feeling Kageyama’s gaze on him was nerve-wracking. So Hinata talked, talked and talked, ignoring those staring blue eyes the best he could, the light touches of their bodies because Hinata was too into his summary of the last _Naruto_ episode… Hinata risked a sidelong look at Kageyama and all his words deserted his brain.

Kageyama’s gaze was _intense_ , intimidating, almost frightening. His eyes were sharp, meditative, and Hinata shivered, having the strange feeling to be a prey. He liked to see this look during a match, because he knew Kageyama was studying the enemy in order to beat them. But right now, the impression was totally different. Right now, Hinata had the impression that he was naked under Kageyama’s stare, that every bit of his emotions, of his thoughts were visible.

“Kageyama?”

This broke the spell, much to Hinata’s relief.

“Sorry,” Kageyama muttered, a light shade of pink colouring his ears. “What were you saying?”

“What were you thinking about?” The question escaped Hinata’s lips and he felt like an idiot when Kageyama’s stare was back on him. His face became red, his eyes grew sharper and Hinata was afraid to be punched. Was Kageyama going to take revenge for what happened two days ago? No, that was stupid, wasn’t it?

Kageyama chewed his bottom lip and Hinata sensed a lie coming. “Don’t even think about lying to me,” he warned.

“I wasn’t-“ but Hinata cut him off –“You definitely were.”

Hinata held Kageyama’s gaze, determined. What for, Hinata didn’t really care, he just didn’t want to avert his eyes. Finally, Kageyama gave up and turned his head away. “I don’t want to tell you.”

Hinata nodded and said a simple “Okay.” Shit. Now he was curious. What was Kageyama hiding? What was he thinking about, looking at Hinata like he was about to devour him? And why his face was so red?

“I have to go.” Kageyama stood up. Hinata couldn’t see his face and tried to call out to him, worried he had done something wrong, but Kageyama walked away without looking back. Hinata sat down, disappointed, and sighed, putting his face in his knees. His heart was pounding and he didn’t understand why.

“Loving someone is so complicated,” Hinata murmured to himself.

(o_ _)ﾉ彡☆

_We have to talk. Can we meet tomorrow afternoon after classes at the schoolyard?  
_ **Kageyama**

_If it’s about the fact that my serve went right into your head, I’m sorry, I’m reflecting on it!  
_ **Hinata**

_It’s not about the serve, though I will surely mention it.  
_ **Kageyama**

_Will you hit me? Because I won’t come if you’re planning to. And don’t say you won’t only to make me agree to come!_  
**Hinata**

_I won’t hit you, I didn’t even think about it, dumbass.  
_ **Kageyama**

_Okay then._  
Can I bring a bodyguard, just in case?  
**Hinata**

_No.  
_ **Kageyama**

_So you really want to hit me!  
_ **Hinata**

_Stop talking shit and go to sleep, it’s late.  
_ **Kageyama**

_You began this conversation.  
_ **Hinata**

_And I regret it._  
Good night.  
**Kageyama**

(o_ _)ﾉ彡☆

Kageyama was going to kill him, Hinata was now sure of it. The schoolyard was always desert after classes. Hidden by big trees and a bunch of bushes, it was the perfect place to kill someone without being seen or heard. He didn’t listen to anything in class, too busy to write down his will. He would leave his blankets and his Teddy bear to Natsu and his video games to his best friends’ from middle school. His mother could sell his boxer shorts to earn some money, he just wanted to bring his favourite socks with him in the afterlife.

When the bell rang, announcing the end of the classes for the day, Hinata jumped, surprised. He looked at the door, certain that Kageyama would soon appear with a furious face and murder intent.

Hinata didn’t even set one foot out of his classroom that Kageyama arrived and grabbed Hinata by the wrist. Hinata wasn’t prepared. Well, he was, sort of, but not enough. So when Kageyama dragged him outside, Hinata panicked.

“Is it really because of the serve? I already told you I am sorry! Or maybe it’s because I stole half of your meat bun? Or is it for the day I jumped in this puddle and splashed you? O-Or...”

“I’m sorry,” Kageyama said suddenly.

Hinata stopped talking. He tilted his head, not understanding why Kageyama was apologising. Kageyama never apologised unless he knew he had made something wrong, which wasn’t the case right now.

“I’m sorry I have done something which upset you,” Kageyama added sheepishly. He wasn’t looking at Hinata but Hinata could see his clenching fists.

_Now I’m lost_ , Hinata thought. _What the fuck is happening?_

“Have you?” Hinata asked.

“Well… yes. I mean, since the day of the kiss, you’ve been awkward whenever you’re around me. So… I-I’m sorry for that. I didn’t want this to happen, nor did I want to gross you out and… I’m sorry.” And now Kageyama was _bowing_ , and Hinata didn’t even know what to say, how to react. He couldn’t grasp a tiny bit of the situation until he processed the words.

_What the fuck_ , Hinata repeated to himself.

“I’m not grossed out...” Hinata said. “I’m not grossed out! And I’m not avoiding you!”

He almost added _idiot_ but he wanted to go home alive and without any member missing.

“So why...” Kageyama began, but Hinata won’t let him say another stupid thing and cut him off. “I thought you were angry!”

It was Kageyama’s turn to frown at Hinata. “Why would I be?”

“Because of the kiss! I thought that you were furious and I didn’t know what to do and…” Hinata took a shaky breath when he realised, when he _understood_ that this whole situation might have been a misunderstanding.” You weren’t?”

“Of course I wasn’t angry, dumbass!”

But Hinata remembered all too well that day when Kageyama was staring at him like he was a snack. “You were looking at me like you were ready to kill me, I swear!”

“I wasn’t!”

“Liar! No one ever stares so furiously at someone without thinking about doing something bad to them!”

“Damn right you are,” grunted Kageyama.

“See?” exclaimed Hinata, incapable of holding back his yelp.

“I was thinking about kissing you, you dumbass!”

Silence fell, heavy. All Hinata could do was staring at Kageyama. His mind was blank, no words were present. It was like Hinata’s capacities to think were destroyed by Kageyama’s statement. Kageyama hid his face in his hands, but he couldn’t cover his red ears. The contrast with his dark hair made them shine redder and Hinata wondered if embarrassment was contagious because he felt his own face burning.

“Kageyama,” Hinata called, his voice distant to his own ears. “Kageyama, look at me.”

Kageyama did, much to Hinata’s relief. And relief was all Hinata could feel at this moment.

“What you said…” Hinata hesitated not sure how to word his thoughts. “About kissing me…”

His body moved of its own accord. Hinata felt heavy and light, relieved and afraid. It couldn’t be true. He was dreaming, right? There was no way...

Kageyama was looking at him through his fingers with the same intensity as that day. He seemed a bit afraid, though. The sun behind his back made Kageyama seem bigger, giving him a mystic aura, increasing the blue of his eyes. Hinata was right in front of him now, so close he could feel Kageyama’s body warmth, his breath on his cheeks. _I want to see his face_ , Hinata thought. He took one of Kageyama’s hands in his own, pulling them away from his face. Hinata’s left hand went naturally at the back of Kageyama’s neck and Hinata’s breath hitched. _So hot..._

Their kiss was clumsy at first. Hinata didn’t know the right way to kiss someone, but he now knew how it feels. It was as embarrassing as exciting, letting him craving for more. So he kissed Kageyama once again, and Kageyama responded, lips firm and moving against Hinata’s. Hinata let out a breath when Kageyama began to caress him clumsily before letting his hands fall on Hinata’s hips. The proximity was so good, so much better than everything Hinata had imagined.

The kiss broke, leaving them a bit breathless. Hinata felt he had a huge grin on his face, Kageyama looked at him with a soft gaze, hands still on Hinata’s hips.

“I think there are many things we have to talk about,” Hinata said.

“I think so too,” Kageyama answered, only to kiss Hinata again and again.

And again.

(o_ _)ﾉ彡☆

They were off to practice. Hinata was rubbing the side of his head with a pout.

“You didn’t have to hit me,” he whined.

“You provoked me,” retorted Kageyama.

“I was telling the truth,” Hinata replied, ignoring Kageyama’s glare.

“You didn’t have to say it in front of the _whole_ team.”

“You’re right. Anyone can say with a single look that you have a fine ass.”

Kageyama threatened to hit him once again and Hinata just sped up, still pouting. He just went back to a normal speed when he felt Kageyama’s fingers intertwine with his. Hinata couldn’t help but smile. He never imagined Kageyama could initiate those kind of things.

“Kageyama.”

“Hmm.”

Hinata stopped and puckered his lips, eyes closed. He heard Kageyama snort and felt his hand squeezing his. “You really do love to kiss, huh?”

Hinata’s answer was muffled by Kageyama’s lips.

“You love it too,” Hinata said once they parted.

“Shut up, dumbass.”


End file.
